


A Particularly Perfect Prank

by LittleRose13



Series: Shipmas 2018 [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Shipmas 2018, Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, prank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 21:45:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17108660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRose13/pseuds/LittleRose13
Summary: “I can get you a Christmas job at my dad’s shop. We always need extra people around this time of year.”“That sounds brilliant!” Scorpius beamed. “Wouldn’t that be perfect, Albus?””Um,” Albus stammered.”We just need people who can be enthusiastic about the products.””Scorpius? Enthusiastic about something? No, I think you’ve got the wrong idea,” James said airily and Scorpius chuckled.“I’d love to work there!”Albus is worried his brother and cousin have ulterior motives in encouraging Scorpius to get a Christmas job.





	A Particularly Perfect Prank

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes make perfect Christmas presents

Albus flattened the letter he’d just received against the breakfast table and sighed loudly. Nobody paid him much attention, so he sighed again, this time with more of a huffing sound and slapped his hand on top of the letter. His entire family continued eating breakfast, chatting, reading the newspaper, making coffee and various other tasks which didn’t involve noticing Albus’  _ obvious  _ dilemma. 

“Can you pass the jam, Al?” Lily held her hand out for it and he sulkily passed it over. She smiled and turned to James beside her. “Then maybe James can ask you what’s wrong with that letter? Or would you prefer Mum to? I’m not sure who that performance was really aimed at.” 

Albus scowled at her and she smiled angelically. 

James snorted into his toast. “Blimey, he’s been apart from Scorpius for two days and we’re already under attack from the Albus Potter Cold Stare.” James kicked him under the table. “Cheer up, Al, it’s Christmas!” 

“It’s December the fourteenth and you’re an idiot,” Albus retorted. 

“What did that letter say?” his dad interrupted through a mouthful of toast. 

“It’s from the Diagon Alley Apothecary,” Lily said loudly, reading over Albus’ shoulder. 

He snatched the letter away from her view. “Yes, it’s from the Apothecary. They’ve asked if I can work some shifts over the Christmas holidays to cover the rush.” 

Albus had worked at the Apothecary over the summer, learning more about potions and their ingredients in the process. It was his dream to become a professional Potioneer. 

“Oh, that’s nice, some extra spending money for Christmas,” his mum said cheerfully. “Do you not want to? I thought you quite enjoyed working there.”

“I did, it’s just…” Albus hesitated, wondering how to word it without making himself sound completely codependent. 

“You don’t want to miss a  _ single second  _ of your time with Scorpy-Worpy-Woo,” James simpered, leering right in Albus’ face. 

“Aw leave him alone, Jamesy,” Lily stroked Albus’ shoulder fondly. “He’s in love, you just don’t understand.” 

Albus felt himself turn red and he subconsciously reached up to tuck a bit of his hair behind one ear, feeling it burn under his touch. It wasn’t really long enough to tuck behind his ear and immediately popped back out again. 

“When do they need an answer by?” Ginny had lightly smacked James on the shoulder and he was snorting into his tea. 

Albus consulted the letter. “Tomorrow.”

“Talk to Scorpius about it today,” his mum said simply. “See what he thinks. He might have plans over Christmas anyway.” 

“Alright,” Albus nodded, ignoring James’ kissy faces.

Lily was watching James in disgust. “You’re  _ nineteen.  _ You’re an  _ adult.  _ I hope you won’t be like this when  _ I  _ get a boyfriend.” 

James shrugged. “No problem there Lils, you aren’t getting a boyfriend until you’re at least thirty-two.” 

Lily narrowed her eyes at their brother and Albus decided it was best to leave the breakfast table before Lily turned her wand on him (again). 

Later, shortly after he’d Flooed in and Albus had dragged him straight to his bedroom, Scorpius was slowly rotating himself in circles on Albus’ desk chair and smiling contentedly. Albus had already tipped Draco off that Scorpius would love a chair like that for Christmas.

“I think you’re being a drama queen,” Scorpius said lazily, staring up at the ceiling and continuing to spin. 

“Because I want to spend time with you instead of selling murtlap essence to middle aged witches?” Albus was lying face down on his bed, raising his head from the pillow only to talk. 

“You  _ like  _ working there, and it’s good for your Potioneer Licence application.” Scorpius stopped spinning and grinned to himself at the dizzy sensation. “We made it work over the summer.”

“That was different,” Albus complained, turning dejectedly onto his back. “You were in London all the time anyway with your dad. I still saw you on the days I was working.”

Scorpius thought for a moment. “What if I was in London again?” He got up from the chair and crossed the room excitedly, over his dizziness. “Oh I have an idea!”

Albus sat up and appraised his boyfriend skeptically. “What?” 

Before Scorpius could answer, the door banged open and James barrelled in, their cousin Freddie hot on his heels. James threw himself down on the bed and Freddie took the vacated desk chair as if this were a pre-arranged meeting. Scorpius looked a bit shell shocked. 

“We have a proposition for you,” James said quickly.

“Whatever it is, no.” Albus got up from his own bed and stood closer to Scorpius, folding his arms protectively. 

“Come  _ on, _ we need you!” Freddie pleaded. “We’re pranking my dad, it’s going to be  _ epic.”  _

Albus rolled his eyes and muttered an apology to Scorpius. Freddie’s eyes fell on him for the first time.

“Malfoy, you can help! If Al is going to be a misery guts about it.” He shot Albus a nasty look. 

“What a shocking turn of events,” James muttered sarcastically. 

“Um, I’m not sure.” Scorpius bit his lip. 

Freddie shrugged. “But for real, Al, are you taking the job at the Apothecary? Because we need a way to…” he wiggled his eyebrows, “Well, I’ll tell you if you agree to help.” 

“We were actually just talking about that before you  _ rudely  _ interrupted,” Albus lightly grazed Scorpius’ hand with his in comfort. “I don’t think I’m going to do it.”

He felt Scorpius rise up beside him. “You haven’t heard my idea yet! What if I get a Christmas job too?”

Albus frowned. “At the Apothecary? I don’t know if you’d like it, it’s quite messy.” 

“Not necessarily the Apothecary, just somewhere in Diagon.” He clapped his hands twice. “Ooh I could get a job scooping ice cream at Florean Fortescue’s!” 

Albus had no doubt that Scorpius would be the most enthusiastic ice cream seller there ever was, but he’d seen how busy and chaotic that shop could get. It was the sort of thing Scorpius would definitely end up getting stressed over. 

“You don’t have to, love,” Albus whispered with a soft expression. “I don’t want you stuck doing something you wouldn’t enjoy.” 

Freddie was exchanging conspiratorial looks with James. “You’re looking for a job on Diagon Alley?” he questioned evenly.

“It’s the perfect solution, Albus!” Scorpius sounded convinced. 

Freddie got up from the chair and crossed the room to stand in front of Scorpius. “I can get you a Christmas job at my dad’s shop. We always need extra people around this time of year.” 

“That sounds brilliant!” Scorpius beamed. “Wouldn’t that be perfect, Albus?”

“Um,” Albus stammered.

James laughed softly. “You’d be great at that, Scorp, getting everyone all excited about breaking the rules.”

Freddie shook his head. “No, it’s not like that. We just need people who can be enthusiastic about the products.”

“Scorpius? Enthusiastic about something? No, I think you’ve got the wrong idea,” James said airily and Scorpius chuckled.

“I’d love to work there!”

“Hang on,” Albus interrupted, not liking the way Freddie and James were both so very for this plan. “Scorpius, I’m not so sure this is a good idea.”

“Of course it is,” Scorpius took his hands, his eyes shining. “I can work at  _ Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes,  _ you’ll be at the Apothecary, they’re practically next door to each other! Oh this is going to be fun!”

The thing about Scorpius’ infectious joy was it was very,  _ very  _ difficult to say no to him. Even if, in this case, it went against Albus’ better judgement. He’d just have to do some damage control. Albus pushed the thought to the back of his mind as Freddie and James left in a flurry of laughter and Scorpius wasted no time in celebrating his new plan by snogging Albus thoroughly.

After dinner, when Scorpius had gone home, Albus fixed his cousin with a stare. “Look, I know pranks are your _ thing _ , but leave Scorpius alone, please. He’s a total innocent. You’d be taking advantage of his naivety,  _ please  _ don’t prank him.”

Freddie swallowed his butterbeer. “Don’t worry, Al. Your boyfriend’s safe. It would be too easy, what’s the point? I like a bit of a challenge.”

Albus narrowed his eyes. “I saw the way you and James were looking at each other. Swear to me you won’t do anything to him.”

Freddie held his hands up. “I swear on my Quaffle signed by the Wimborne Wasps. I won’t prank Malfoy. Me and James are too busy planning this epic prank on my dad anyway, which by the way you are still welcome to participate in.”

Albus shook his head. “I’ll be checking. Every day. Be nice to him.” He went to leave and then turned back. “And stop calling him  _ Malfoy,  _ he doesn’t like it but he’s too polite to say.”

Freddie saluted. “Yes  _ sir,  _ Albus Potter, sir! Anything else? Would you like to inform me of his favourite flavour of crisp so that I may prepare a welcome banquet in the staff room?”

Albus simply rolled his eyes and left Freddie sniggering to himself.

* * *

Two days later, at the Apothecary, Albus put the batch of Pepperup Potion he was working on over a cauldron to simmer while he took his lunch break. True to his word, the first thing he did was head three doors up the street to the colourful and busy Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. Scorpius had managed to arrange his lunch break to always coordinate with Albus’, which had only made Albus more suspicious of Freddie. He had  _ really  _ wanted Scorpius to take the job.

The first thing Albus saw when he set foot in the shop was Scorpius. He was near the front door, greeting customers whilst wearing a large Santa hat with his magenta staff robes. The Santa hat lit up and started to play a tinny version of Jingle Bells, then a smaller santa hat popped out of the top of it, followed by another, then another until Scorpius was left with a tower of increasingly tinier Santa hats. Somehow, he could pull it off.

“They make great Christmas presents, treat your family and friends!” Scorpius announced happily, then he looked over and spotted Albus, who suddenly realised he’d been staring. 

“Hello,” he said, wanting to greet his boyfriend with a kiss but having to stop himself. 

“I can go on my lunch break now too,” Scorpius said and he moved away from the prominent front area and towards a curtain off to one side. “Let me just take this off.” He ducked behind the curtain.

“Checking up on me?” Freddie appeared from nowhere and sidled over to Albus. 

“I said I would,” Albus responded. “He seems to be enjoying himself.”

“What are you? His carer?” Freddie grinned. “I said I wouldn’t do anything to him, there’s no trust in this family.” He ruffled Albus’ hair. “How’s the potions?” 

“Fine. Working on a recipe adjustment for extra strength Pepperup.”

“What makes it extra strength?” Freddie asked curiously.

“It’s an adjustment to the amount of peppermint and powdered firecrab claw, I’m still experimenting with the quantities.”  Albus started to launch into an explanation then quickly stopped himself. “Sorry, you don’t care about all that.”

Freddie clicked his tongue. “Yes I do, tell me about the adjustment. So you change the amount of peppermint and fire claw and then, what, you bottle it and sell it?”

Albus shook his head. “No, I have to test it before it can be sold.”

“How do you test it?” Freddie sounded genuinely interested. 

“I take a half dose myself, check for steam,” Albus shrugged and gestured to his ears. “Why do you want to know?”

“Albus, I may not be a prodigy like you, but I do brew the occasional potion for my job too,” Freddie said dryly. 

“Right, sorry.”

Scorpius appeared at that moment, his ridiculous hat gone and his cloak on over his magenta staff robes. He took Albus’ hand. “Want to get sandwiches from that cafe with the lavender coloured shutters? My treat.” 

Freddie mimed vomiting and Albus kicked him in the shin. “Bye, Fred.” 

Scorpius cheerfully told Albus all about his first morning working in retail. 

“And then the lady said  _ my sons would love one of these each, I have six _ and she picked up  _ six  _ of them and went and bought them at the till! All because of what I said, it was sort of scary having that power. She spent her galleons because of me.” 

“Have you been allowed to work on the till yourself yet?” Albus asked, referring to Scorpius’ previous excitement at the prospect. 

“Not yet, but Verity said she would train me up on it tomorrow when it’s a bit quieter.” Scorpius took a dainty bite of his sandwich and chewed thoughtfully.

“And Freddie’s being nice, isn’t he? He hasn’t tried to prank you?”

Scorpius swallowed. “No, Freddie’s been great, he told me you’d spoken to him, asked him not to prank me.”

Albus grinned sheepishly. “Hope you don’t mind.” 

“No, I thought it was very sweet,” Scorpius smiled. “How’s your morning been? Been selling murtlap to old ladies?”

Albus chuckled. “I’ve actually been in the back, brewing Pepperup. They have to almost constantly restock at this time of year.”

“I didn’t realise they brewed their potions on premises.” Scorpius swirled the straw around his drink.

“Only the basic ones,” Albus shrugged. “And strictly speaking, it’s not an experimental brewery, but Henry’s letting me try out this extra strength Pepperup.”

Scorpius took a sip of his lemonade. “Isn’t this grown up of us, getting lunch together over our _ lunch breaks _ . It’s exciting, having a job, having set hours to do things in.”

This was such a Malfoy thing to say that Albus burst out laughing. Scorpius looked a bit hurt. 

“Sorry, love. I’m not laughing at you.” Albus held Scorpius’ hand across the table lovingly and his grey eyes softened. 

“I suppose that was a bit of a privileged thing to say,” Scorpius blushed the prettiest shade of pink. He reached out and gently stroked Albus’ jawline. 

Albus shivered. “Your hands are cold.”

“Oops, sorry.” Scorpius made a big show of rubbing his hands together to warm them up then went back to gently caressing Albus’ cheek. He frowned and pulled back. “Something’s different about your skin.”

Albus rubbed his hand over his cheek. “Yeah, it gets all dry at this time of year. I’m probably not drinking enough water or something.”

“You should use some moisturiser,” Scorpius told him earnestly. “You just rub a little bit on in the morning and then at night, it’ll make it feel normal again.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Albus said distractedly, thinking that he’d probably just forget anyway.

“Try this pink lemonade, it’s lovely.” Scorpius span his straw around and offered it to Albus. He leaned forward to take a sip and smiled at the sweet flavour. A sharp rapping-on-glass sound interrupted and Albus looked up and immediately groaned.

His brother and sister were for some reason there, looking in and watching them have lunch. James had his face pressed up against the glass and he was miming girlish laughter and making kissy faces. He took his wand and pretended it was a straw and that he was daintily drinking lemonade, then he offered it to Lily. She elbowed James in the side and waved to them both.

“Hello,” Scorpius said cheerfully, waving back. 

Lily held her camera up and pointed first at Albus and Scorpius, then at the camera and finally at her heart. She mouthed  _ so cute  _ and smiled innocently. 

“She’s worse than the Daily Prophet reporters,” Albus muttered while James roared (probably very loudly) with laughter on the other side of the glass. 

“Shall we see if they want to join us?” Scorpius suggested happily.

“No,” Albus said instantly. “We have to go back to work in fifteen minutes, I’m not sharing you with anyone.”

“Aw.” Scorpius launched into a speech about how sweet he thought Albus was which quickly diverged into a tangent about a butterfly he’d seen that morning. Albus watched him enthuse and grinned to himself, knowing he’d most likely think about this all afternoon back at the Apothecary. 

* * *

Freddie kept to his word and Albus came in every day to find Scorpius happy and content, wooing customers and restocking the shelves and generally being too adorable for words. Boxing Day came and went and, other than a little extra stress at the lengthy queues during the sale, Scorpius seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself.

“Are you okay? You look a little bit peaky,” Scorpius asked in concern as he and Albus walked to lunch together, bundled up in cloaks. “Are you getting a cold?”

“No, I’m fine. I finished that batch of extra strength Pepperup today and I had to take some to test it on myself. The extra powdered firecrab claw really worked well,” Albus explained.

Scorpius sighed in understanding. “Ah, that’s why you look ill. You’ve got that look of someone who’s just taken Pepperup. Well, did your adjustment work?”

Albus couldn’t even remember telling Scorpius he was working on an adjustment, but he must have mentioned it at some point. Scorpius was such an attentive boyfriend, he always remembered the details of Albus’ experiments. 

“They seem to have done, it’s just got to go through a round of testing before they can sell it.” Albus felt a bubble of pride rise within him; he’d made a Potions discovery, albeit a tiny, insignificant one. 

“I’m so proud of you.” Scorpius tugged him off to one side of the busy street and pulled him in for a quick kiss, caressing Albus’ cheek gently. “My clever Potioneer.”

Albus felt himself blush. “Love you.” 

Scorpius rubbed his thumb gently over Albus’ cheekbones. “I know what I should get you as a well done present.”

“You don’t have to get me a present,” Albus dismissed the idea. “It’s just been Christmas anyway.”

“Before you get too excited, I was going to say I’ll buy you a fancy moisturiser,” Scorpius chuckled. “I know you never got around to using one.” 

Albus shrugged. “You’re right, I didn’t.” 

“They have some lovely ones in here.” Scorpius lead him into the next shop along, the bell tinkling as they entered. 

With the help of a friendly sales assistant who looked vaguely familiar to Albus, Scorpius selected what he said was the perfect moisturiser. Albus was sure he was right, but they all seemed the same to him; strangely shaped tubes which smelled flowery and felt nice when Scorpius rubbed them on the inside of his wrist.

Scorpius and the sales assistant picked out what they said was the perfect moisturiser for Albus’ skin type and Scorpius suggested Albus use it right away because apparently he would feel the difference within the hour. Albus obliged, rubbing it haphazardly over his cheeks and forehead. 

After an eye-watering amount of galleons for such a tiny tube, which Albus tried to stutter out a protest against and which Scorpius promptly shut down, they left the shop with a tiny paper bag. 

“Where shall we go for lunch?” Scorpius asked. 

“You can choose, love. It’s my turn to treat.” 

Albus let Scorpius steer him towards a restaurant. They split a large bowl of hot soup and crusty bread with melted cheese. Scorpius was in general marvel at the whole thing and he kept sighing contentedly.

“It’s so exciting that you’ve done your first Potioneer thing before we’re even out of school,” Scorpius gushed when most of the soup was gone. 

“It’s only Pepperup,” Albus shrugged modestly. “And Henry had done a lot of the pre-research. I just carried out the experimenting.”

“But you made a discovery! You can put this in your Potioneer Licence application. You’re going to be the best apprentice Potioneer next year.” Scorpius gently stroked Albus’ calf with his foot under the table.

“And you’re going to make a wonderful student Healer,” Albus replied, leaning over the table to connect their lips for a second.

“Today a little girl in the shop had a splinter, and I got it out for her, Albus! Her mum didn’t know the charm, I wasn’t going to say anything, but the little girl was so sad and I knew how to do it. So I offered, and she let me and then the girl hugged me and called me  _ Mr Healer.  _ It was adorable.”

“You’re adorable,” Albus said immediately, as it was the only thought on his mind.

“Love you,” Scorpius beamed.

“Love you, too.” Albus absent-mindedly stroked his jaw, feeling stubble beneath his fingers. “I need to shave again already,” he thought out loud. “When did  _ that  _ happen?” 

Scorpius raised an eyebrow. “I think you look quite handsome with a bit of five o’clock shadow.” 

“Hmm, no, I don’t love it,” Albus continued to stroke at the stubble peppering his jawline.

Scorpius shrugged. “You always look handsome.” 

Albus paid for their lunch and kissed Scorpius goodbye, reminding him they were Flooing to the Potters’ together later for dinner. Scorpius’ dad was coming, it really promised to be quite lovely. 

Back at the Apothecary, Albus was greeted with the news that his adjustment had been approved by Henry who owned the shop and the extra strength Pepperup was almost allowed to be sold. Henry set him up with some final paperwork he needed to fill in, including a contract which stated that Albus would receive a tiny fraction of each potion’s sale (eight sickles, but it still counted). He clapped Albus on the back and gave him a proud smile.

“You’re getting a bonus for this, lad. Don’t forget to give us a mates rates discount when you’re a professional brewer.”

“Will do.” Albus laughed and Henry pushed the paperwork towards him, leaving him to it and going back to the front of the shop.

It had been twenty minutes and he was still working through the forms. Albus distractedly pushed his hair out of his eyes for the third time, trying to focus on the ingredient tracker he was filling in. He tucked some of it behind his ear and it stayed put as he settled in to the lengthy form needed for his potion adjustment to be allowed to sell. All he could think about was how exciting it was that he had his own adjustment to be approved; hopefully it would be the first of many. 

Once he’d finished the forms, Henry asked him to restock some shelves near the front of the shop. Albus was levitating jars of eel eyes into neat rows, pushing his fringe from his eyes so he could focus on lining them up just right. A customer was picking up and comparing snargaluff pods, one in each hand, and she smiled over at Albus.

“Do you need any help?” Albus said in his best customer service voice.

“Will one of these yield a litre of juice?” The customer held up the snargaluff pods. 

“I’d get two to be on the safe side,” Albus advised and the woman nodded.

“Thank you, dear.” She placed the two pods into her basket. “I’m making a shrinking solution.” 

“You’ll want some caterpillars too then,” Albus said knowingly, leading her over to a large barrel of wriggling caterpillars. 

The woman consulted a scrap of parchment in her hand. “Five caterpillars.”

“Have six, in case one escapes.” Albus picked them out of the barrel and sealed them into a small bag for the customer. He handed it over and pushed his hair from his eyes once more in annoyance. 

“Thank you. Here, love.” She held her hand out to give him something. “My son’s doing the  _ growing his hair out  _ thing too and this helps him a lot.”

Albus wordlessly accepted what turned out to be a small hair tie. He looked in confusion between the palm of his hand and the woman’s face, but she just smiled serenely and went to pay for her ingredients.

What did she mean,  _ growing his hair out?  _ He knew he should probably get a haircut before going back to school, but it wasn’t  _ that  _ out of control. Albus ran a hand through his messy hair and was instantly shocked to find it felt several inches longer than it had been that morning. As he lowered his hand in dismay, he brushed his own cheek and felt a most unfamiliar sensation.

Immediately grabbing the box of jars he’d been unloading, Albus sprinted to the workshop in the back of the shop and looked around for something reflective. With nothing in sight, he pulled his wand out and cast a reflection charm in the air before him. The face that stared back was  _ not  _ what he’d been expecting. 

He had the beginnings of a beard, not just a bit of light stubble but an actual fully formed beard and moustache. He almost didn’t recognise himself with so much facial hair; Albus didn’t even know he could  _ grow  _ that much facial hair. Stroking it in wonder, he noticed that his hair, too, was falling well past his ears and the back was brushing his collar in thick waves he’d forgotten he even had. What kind of magic was this? 

His eyes fell on his Pepperup experiment, which he’d taken himself only that morning, realising that he’d perhaps been a bit too quick to say it had been such a success.

“Of course, the firecrab claw must have raised the collagen content of the potion too much. Why didn’t I think of that?” he muttered aloud to himself. 

The extra collagens in the Pepperup wouldn’t have been absorbed and his body was having to use them up somehow. But why was it affecting his hair? He’d need to test this further. He sighed, realising he was going to have to go back to Henry and tell him about this development; it was annoying, because Henry had already approved it.

Not knowing what else to do, Albus pulled his newly long hair back from his face and twisted it around with the hair tie the customer had given him, just like he’d seen his dad do countless times when he was little. At least he could focus on fixing this if it wasn’t falling into his face all the time. How did anyone get anything done with hair this long? He had new found respect for Lily, whose hair went halfway down her back, and she still managed to play Quidditch. 

By the end of the work day, Albus was basically the spitting image of his dad and he hadn’t come any closer to figuring out what had caused this malfunction. Henry had agreed it was a bit odd for the potion to have had that effect and he let Albus spend the afternoon experimenting, offering a few ideas here and there between customers. He had a few theories, but nothing to explain why his hair was continuing to grow long after he’d sampled the potion.

Henry poked his head in. “Closing up, Al. Did you fix it?” 

Albus gave him a sulky look. “Does it look like I fixed it?” 

Henry shrugged and chuckled. “There’s a barber shop just down the street, mate.” 

“Tried cutting it. It just grows back, this is weird magic,” Albus complained. 

“Maybe St Mungo’s then?” 

“I can’t go to  _ St Mungo’s  _ and tell them my hair won’t stop growing.” 

“I don’t know then. But I’m closing up, you need to go home.” 

“Yeah, alright. Can I Floo home from here? I’ll call my boyfriend to come over, I’m not setting foot in the street looking so much like my dad.”

Henry nodded and started to use his wand to close the shutters on the Apothecary windows. Albus started to wrap up in his cloak and scarf, stuffing his hat moodily over his long hair, now released from the hair tie. 

Albus cast a quick patronus to Scorpius explaining the change of plans and he watched his silvery raven fly away to its destination. Scorpius appeared in the doorway minutes later, bundled up in his cloak again and out of breath.

“What’s happened, Albus? Are you okay?” He sounded terrified.

On reflection, perhaps telling Scorpius he needed to come quickly because of a disaster had been a bit dramatic. 

“I’m fine!” he said quickly to reassure Scorpius. “I’ve just had a bit of a malfunction with my potion. There was a side effect.” 

“The beard?” Scorpius stared at him, stunned. 

“Yeah,” Albus said uncomfortably. “And this.” He pulled his hat off and felt his hair come tumbling down, brushing at his shoulders by now. 

“Oh.” Scorpius bit back a laugh. “Oh,  _ Albus.”  _

“You can laugh, I look ridiculous,” he chuckled softly. “There’ll be a simple way to reverse this, I just need to experiment a tiny bit more.” 

“Okay, first of all, you don’t look ridiculous, you’re still as handsome as ever. And second, are you sure you want to go home and have James see you right now?” 

Albus gave him an affronted look. “I thought I looked handsome?” When Scorpius suddenly looked stricken, he quickly continued. “No, I get you. I’d tease me too.” 

Scorpius hummed in thought, reaching for the Floo powder. “Why don’t we go to my house? My dad will still be there, he might even be able to help you work out what went wrong.”

It was true that Scorpius’ dad knew his stuff when it came to potions. Albus nodded and took Scorpius’ offered hand, stepping into the Floo with him and spinning off to Malfoy Manor. 

The drawing room they arrived in was empty and silent. Scorpius called for his dad but nobody responded.

“Maybe he’s already at my house?” Albus wondered out loud. 

“Let me see you properly now we’re in the light.” Scorpius tugged Albus forward and reached over to pull his hat off again. He ran his fingers down a strand of Albus’ long hair, which now reached his collar bone, curling it around the tips of his fingers. “You know, this is sort of sexy.”

Scorpius rarely initiated such blatant flirting and he knew Albus always loved it when he did. 

“Really? This does it for you?” Albus cocked an eyebrow. 

“Really,” Scorpius breathed, stroking Albus’ beard with his thumb. “What if you  _ don’t  _ fix it?”

Albus chuckled. “The rate it’s going, if I don’t do something, I’ll end up looking more like Albus Dumbledore than Albus Potter.” 

The sound of footsteps outside the door made them both realise they were rather close to each other and they parted a bit, looking towards the door.

“Only us, Dad!” Scorpius called. “We need your help with something.”

Albus braced himself for Draco’s inevitable comment teasing him for looking so much like his dad as the door pushed open.

But it wasn’t Draco Malfoy on the other side. 

Instead, a blinding flash of white light greeted Albus. Scorpius laughed gleefully and pulled Albus into a tight hug, kissing his shoulder and murmuring through laughter what sounded like the word  _ sorry  _ over and over. 

“What the hell?” Albus extracted himself from Scorpius’ arms and looked straight into the eyes of Freddie, who was brandishing a camera (the source of the blinding white light) and laughing maniacally. A second later, James appeared in the doorway too, almost doubled over with laughter.

“Al… Albus… this was…  _ too…  _ perfect,” James wheezed, clutching at his sides. “Your  _ hair.”  _

Suddenly, everything made ten times more sense. He  _ knew  _ that potion had been side effect free. Of course it had been a prank, of fucking  _ course  _ it had. 

“Thanks for being a guinea pig, cuz,” Freddie put in, waving the camera happily. “Can we use this for in-store advertising?” 

“What the  _ fuck  _ did you do to me?” Albus lunged at his brother and grabbed him in an awkward sort of wrestling position. 

“Look at your luscious locks,” James pulled strands of Albus’ long hair up and watched them fall back down. “And your beard, you look like Dad!” 

And it was in that moment that Albus realised the reality of Freddie and James being there in Malfoy Manor waiting to ambush him. 

Scorpius had been in on it. 

“Scorpius!” Albus rushed from James to his distinctly guilty looking boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, Albus! I’m sorry!” He snorted. “I still love you. It was just too funny!” 

Albus sat down distractedly, running his hand over his beard and thinking about his day. 

“That moisturiser,” he mused then looked at Scorpius. “The moisturiser you bought me, that was the prank, wasn’t it?” He looked at Freddie.

His cousin strolled over and wrapped an arm around Scorpius’ shoulders. “Your boyfriend here is quite the mastermind when it comes to pranking you. He saw an opportunity in the moisturiser and we took it, and  _ wow  _ did it work. We’ve been needing to test this product out for a while, I expected the beard but the long hair is an interesting side effect, I’ll have to look into that.” Freddie tapped his chin in thought.

“You let them use an  _ untested  _ prank on me?” Albus said accusingly to Scorpius who bit his lip guiltily and mumbled something about not being aware it was untested. 

Freddie sighed airily. “Of course, we had to wait until the day you took your own experiment.”

“So you’d think you’d done it to yourself,” James snorted. “You did, didn’t you?” 

Albus glared at his brother, hating that he was right.

“I’ll go back and buy you the real moisturiser tomorrow, Albus,” Scorpius said sweetly.

“But I don’t understand, I watched you buy it from the shop? That girl working there helped us pick, and you didn’t have time to swap it.”

Freddie beamed. “ _ That girl  _ was Holly, my girlfriend. She was in on it.” 

“Fuck I  _ knew  _ I recognised her!” Albus held his hands out. “Well, good one, guys. You well and truly got me. And there was me worrying you were going to prank Scorpius.”

“I feel sort of terrible about this,” Scorpius said nervously.

“Don’t, it’s funny,” Albus shrugged. “Although you have an antidote, don’t you? This is just a simple hair growth potion, I hope?” 

“Less of the  _ simple  _ if you don’t mind,” Freddie said. “I’ve worked for hours on this. But yes, there’s an antidote.” He started to get the Floo ready to leave. 

“Here.” James reached into his pocket and threw a small bottle to Albus. He caught it with one hand and read the label, noticing it was an antidote. “Take that and it’ll go back to normal in a few hours. See you at dinner.”

James stepped smoothly into the fireplace as Freddie span away. 

“ _ A few hours?  _ James! Dinner is in forty five minutes!” 

James shrugged. “I‘m sure Mum will think you look very handsome.” 

“James!” Albus cried after him in annoyance but his brother was already disappearing in a rush of emerald flames. 

Scorpius came up behind him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You  _ do  _ look very handsome.” 

Albus turned from the fireplace to look at his boyfriend. He flicked his hair from his eyes in annoyance. “What does anyone even  _ do  _ with this much hair?” 

“Hmm.” Scorpius reached up and curled it around his fingers. “I liked the ponytail you had it in before.”

Albus sighed and read the antidote bottle as Scorpius continued to play with his hair, twirling it around his fingers. “Says it’ll start to take effect in one hour with full results visible in up to four, how late can we reasonably arrive to dinner?” 

Scorpius considered the question. “Ten minutes.”

Sighing, Albus uncorked the antidote and downed the tiny amount inside; it tasted vaguely of caramel. “Ponytail it is, then.” 

He vaguely took hold of his hair with one hand then let go, stroking his beard and trying to decide if he was imagining that it was thicker than before or not. 

“I think you look very handsome.” Scorpius held his arms out. “Can I brush it for you?”

Albus fell against Scorpius, who wrapped his arms around Albus’ body. Albus nodded against Scorpius’ chest. “Yes please.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought :)   
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